I do worry about writing in detail about my life and putting it on the internet. However, (1) I'm not a celebrity, (2) I'm not trying to identify or hurt anyone, and (3) it really isn't that interesting. It's just my life.
It's funny that it's not the sex posts that get the most readers (although readership does spike). It's the money posts. I had the highest readership in August and September when I was trying to decide what to do about PdeFF. Now things have settled down to about 50 readers a day or less, probably 20-30 regular readers. Since I don't have 20-30 posters, I assume that there are regular lurkers. Join the fun. Write something about how you got here and what brings you back.
With all the changes, the only possessions I've missed are turtleneck shirts, rain boots, and books. Thanks to Innana, Cookie, the Pope and my long-lost BLEBRF (Baseball Loving Erstwhile Blogreading Friend (who loans me books, thank you))I've got the books, which are the most important.
Amazingly, having launched myself into the waters of single-motherhood (and despite my seeking out masculine company, I predict a not-too-short stay in single-ville, largely because I'm encumbered, I have enough baggage to sink a barge, and it really isn't time for more than flirtation or fooling around) and the level of work and responsibility that entails, I'm happy. I don't have someone who listens to what I say but doesn't actually hear me. Or who deflects all my questions or concerns or turns them all back on me. I have you (dear readers). Who read what I write. I can almost imagine someone is listening to me.
Of course Innana listens to me (with an expression of visible tolerance, much of the time), and that's a good thing. So does Mr. Studmuffin, and so do Mr. Movie and the Professor (to lesser degrees -- they're off in their own worlds). So do my other friends. But I have at least five years of being on mute to make up for. Am I writing in the blog excessively? Of obsessively? I don't think so. Normally if I write about something that scares or angers me, I don't end up feeling more scared or angered, I end up thinking of ways to handle the unwanted emotion. And happy stuff, well I just feel happier putting it in print.
For example, the Sunday, Monday and Tuesday, Foilkid had "bad dreams" (actually, a need to go to the bathroom, which woke her) and therefore moved herself into my bed and snuggled. I like being all powerful mommy who can get rid of the monsters under the bed. And she's a good snuggler (she wrote the book on it) and I get to wake up and look at her downy chubby cheek and her lashes and the little snore, and I know, I'm lucky.
Lunch break is over. Hasta luego.
*Op cit (Talking Heads again)
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7 comments:
Hello Foilwoman,
First time visitor. I found you in the comment section of Martian Anthropologist's blog.
I often wonder what it is about some blogs that causes me to return. Is it their personal narrative that is compelling? Or is it their writing style? Maybe its your anonimity? Or the voyeur in me?
It might be that you remind me of other women I have known, loved and wanted (see Fun Foilwoman facts #'s 3, 4, 10, 11, 14, 18.)
I do love the complexity of the human condition and here lies evidence of said condition. I will add you to my list of bookmarks with plans on returning.
Thanks for the read.
I love that song.
I actually feel guilty for not writing more often sometimes. Mostly because I feel like a freeloader when I get to read others but they don't have much to read of me.
Yeah, I love to place a message because I know that, for most bloggers, we get off on it...and no I don't mean that in one of your sexy posts way!
I'm still fascinated about the 'modern' internet and the whole blogging phenomenon. I just wish I had more time to blog, surf the net, and actually remember the blogs I find at random!
Mac: In the case of many readers (not your case, of course), I do suspect voyeurism. My blog is like a roadside view into the multicar pileup with plenty of gore that is my life this last year. One can say, "hey, I'm doing better than that." Or not.
Prom: Yes, watching David Byrne in the Big Suit in Stop Making Sense is just a joy. Life During Wartime. Pyscho Killer. Heaven. I'll stop now.
Fluffy Bunny Man: Yes, I like leaving comments. And I like getting them. Thanks for yours. Oh, and thanks for the hilarious http://foil-a-stalker.blogspot.com. I hadn't laughed that hard in a few days. Innana liked it too.
I always find in life that honesty and fair dealing are the best routes to take, and if you can fake them, you've got it made!
I don't know how I end up pretty much anywhere I get to. I suspect the whistiling of the wind through my empty head compelled me to wander over in this direction and I have been aimlessly wandering ever since.
Che-jay: Faking honesty and fair-dealing . . . ? That's a little sad, I think. Although you're probably right, that those who can feign those qualities (in the short-run, at least) get a lot of mileage out of it.
MUTMC: Well of course you are aimlessly wandering. You're a Useless Man and won't ask for directions. Or check the map.
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