I had my annual ob-gyn exam plus pap smear a few weeks ago (oh joy!) followed by my annual mammogram. Cookie, once again, let me use the phrase "gets on my tits" in the only possible way it can be used as a disparaging comment: Mammograms get on my tits. I also have to see a few other specialists (all probably over-cautiousness: surgeon for possible third-time hernia repair and cardiologist for irregular -- probably caffeine-related -- heartbeat). But jumpin' jehosephat, that mammogram gets worse every year.
Of course, on top of that, DG, in her current breast-function-awareness-mode has been asking to drink milk from my breasts. I called her bluff. She poked me, asking for a drink (it's been three years since she has nursed at either of my breasts) and I said: do you remember drinking from Mama? "Yes," she said in her Betty Boop voice. "Okay." She neared an approached, then poked me again, and then declared "Disgustiong!" I feel so rejected, but totally relieved that a child of mine who has grown teeth will not be trying to nurse and thus requiring me to reject her. I don't know what I would have done if I had had to decide to nurse her (at four years old!) or not. Oh well.
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Yes, those exams sure do get worse every year. Just last week I went in for my annual. On St. Patrick’s Day, it'was, it'was.
And then I forgot about it until they called me a couple days later for a follow-up … and ultrasound.
The last time I had an ultrasound it was to look at my now 18-year-old daughter. I was not gazing at promise and hope this time, but at a spot like a shark’s eye. That kind of black spot, looking at nothing, prowling around, undetected. Until now.
And then the flurry of biopsies and other scanning technologies a day later. Let’s see, you posted at on 3/25 at 9:39 PM EST, so I would’ve received the news a few hours earlier that it was found to be exactly what you never want to hear.
Everything points to a successful operation and treatment, but it is still as scary as all-get-out. Thank God (for surely she has breasts), and the technician and the doctor who saw the shape and thought that maybe it wasn’t just a shadow.
Yes, what a pain, but good for you for making the appointment and doing it.
-Another 47-year old
Dear AnonWoman: Hey, my mother went through that in 1996 and no recurrences, still alive and kicking (and biking and hiking and skiing) at age 72 in 2009. Email at foilwoman at gmail if you want. Happy to give support. I wish you well.
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