Well, Francis Bacon said it: "He that hath a wife and children hath given hostages to fortune." But it's anyone who loves anyone, and any person to whom one feels protective. My life isn't tied to Sven, but things that he does affect those to whom my life is tied.
LOS and I aren't super-close as far as siblings go, but I truly love her, I trust her, and I want her to be happy. I have kids of my own, so I can partially figure out what she must be feeling to see her eldest child self-destruct. LOS has been through alcoholism already with her husband, who I have to name, so I'll just call him LOS's Husband or LOSH for short. I didn't support LOS a lot during the whole LOSH's alcoholism thing, at least when it recurred in 2004-2006, because really, I had PdeFF and his status as a delusional psychotic who I was divorcing to deal with and that sucked up a lot of time and energy. But now she gets to go through it again, including checking a child into a psychiatric facility. That's just one of those experiences that you never want to have, kind of like amputating your own arm with a pen-knife in the wilderness.
And both FoilMormor and Big Grampa are pretty distressed to know that a child of theirs has the pleasure of checking a child of hers into a psychiatric facility or addiction treatment center (which is a psychiatric facility, so there you are). They've been through this with NSLOS (and Big Grampa went through this with FoilMormor, although she made a full recovery, so that' s hopeful).
And TG and DG both love Sven, LOS, LOSH, and LOS's younger son, Christian (hey, it's a Danish name), so they'll be hurt if Sven crashes and burns, and they'll fee sad for LOS, LOSH, Christian, and Sven. Normally, TG goes to New England in the winter to ski, toboggan, and generally hang out with LOS and her family. That didn't happen this year, and now I've figured out why. I'm hoping next year TG will be able to take her midwinter trip.
But this waiting to see if someone else will become functional is really not fun. I remember this from 2005-2006. Again, when I next see Sven (see comments to prior post), I'm slapping his face. At least in my mind.
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- Foilwoman
- The Aluminum Archangel of Action -- It's hard to be a superheroine in stylish, yet affordable shoes, especially now that Buffy the Vampire Slayer is ancient history. How do I save the world, support my family, deal with my finally-former-spouse's insanity and incredibly fragile ego, raise my kids right, and find fulfilment while maintaining my moral compass?
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4 comments:
Crapola! Life has enough challenges without adding-in addictions.
I'm sorry to read that so many in your family have suffered with them. As you know, some of the worst pain is felt by those who care about the addict. I hope Sven can get his sh_t together and stay sober long enough to discover that life is worth the suffering that makes happiness all the sweeter.
Ms. Peg: When I go through the list of people I know who have been hospitalized for mental illness or addiction, not just in my family, but among high school and college classmates, friends and acquaintances, and those who never have been, but are so miserable they really should check themselves in but don't for fear of losing a security clearance or something like that (CNL comes to mind), I run out of fingers and and make a good inroad on toes. No joke. And that's just counting people who know me well enough and trust me enough to let me know.
Maybe that says more about my family and circle of acquaintances (highly educated, for the most part) East Coast neurotic types, I guess. But PdeFF is from the Global South (once called Third World, now I don't know what to call it) as are two of his friends who I know have been hospitalized, and several others don't fit the stereotype either.
Mainly, mental pain/frailty is pretty common. That's what I take from it.
Are we living in an age of too much information? Are intelligent types vulnerable to info-overload? I find myself trying to simplify my life by not exposing myself to all the "badness" (evil?) thrown at us from every angle.
Empathy nearly got me in trouble when I was in college -- there was just too much hurting going on for me to handle!
I've always thought that if the world were simpler, people like my NSLOS wouldn't have so much difficulty adjusting to the modern world. But you can't unring that bell.
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