TigerGrrl is growing up. She's 5'2" or so. She just attended the "adolescence is heading toward you like a runaway train and you have so much to look forward too" class in school.
She talked with me about it. Not reluctantly, not after me prompting her. Nope. We sat on the stairs of ChezFoil and discussed puberty, testes, ovaries, vaginas, penises, breasts, body hair, and stupid slang words for all of the above. She's glad she has Girl Stuff by Kaz Cooke to refer to, as well as the revised Our Bodies, Ourselves.
Me, I'm just happy my girl feels comfortable talking about all the stuff that mortified me at age 10 and 11. And she feels comfortable talking to me about it.
And yet she's still my little girl who, when she can't sleep, comes into my room to cuddle with me. I want her to stay my little girl (who's taller than many adult women) just a little bit longer.
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13 comments:
i'm so glad i'll never have to have that little talk.
Our version of that lesson at school was a 30 minute cartoon.
I can't recommend the Kaz Cooke books high enough. They beat Dr Spock any day!
benedict
Cookie: You never know. My nephew Christian at age 5 asked me if you were born a boy, did you have to stay a boy, or could you, for instance, become a girl. And how could you do that. Field that kind of question from DG, oh CookieDear. I'll put her on the phone when she's in the mood.
Your eminence: I am eternally grateful for them. Thank you SO much. She even has a smart-answers-to-stupid-questions-or-comments about developing breasts for self-conscious young women. TG and I have practiced some of those, although they're not needed yet.
I'm just glad kids are getting the truth these days.
The film all the girls and our mother's were forced to view together was produced by a wellknown feminine products company. It was all gauzy and romantic and barely addressed menstruation. It certainly didn't mention body hair or anything else. It was totally misleading.
Seering pain was my first sign that I was "becoming a woman" and since it hadn't been mentioned, I thought there was something really wrong with me!
I think modern Moms like you have such a better chance to talk honestly with their children. In my day, anything to do with s-e-x was strictly edited so we'd remain sheltered [ignorant!].
It's one of my favorite axioms--so many of life's problems can be solved simply with open communication.
Accurate information--an honest account of what we know and don't know--works wonders to demystify things and to ward off a life squandered in fear. How much stronger your girls are for being informed about what IS rather than what someone thinks OUGHT to be.
Ms. Peg: Fortunately for me, I had two older sisters and FoilMormor was pretty darn direct, so even though I got no information through the education system, I did actually know about the mechanics of me better than many my age did.
Wunelle: I've never understood the idea of hiding things about life and death. People grow, develop, age, and die. If one can't face those basics, the whole process is going to be a tough one.
Ariana already asked me just about every question in the book from the time she was 3 (because I had been pregnant with Jared) until she was about 5. Each time, I gave her complete honesty but tried to answer the question as briefly as possible so I wouldn't overwhelm such a young child with too much information. It worked. She's completely comfortable with her body, and she's completely comfortable with talking to me about whatever's on her mind. At 12, right now her current giggle is that she has hair on one armpit but not the other. She's always been facinated by these changes to her body. I think my favorite moment so far that made me laugh was when she came back from her dad's and announced the second that her brother was in the bathroom with the door shut, "Momma! I have hair on my vagina now!" and then she just dropped her drawers to proudly show me. Cracked me right up. She was about 9 and a half. She then quickly clarified that she had no desire to show her brother, her dad, or anybody else, but that as her mother she was sure I'd be just as excited as she was. Haha!
On an interesting note, Ariana was 11 when she started her cycles and was 5'. I was told she'd only grow two more inches, max, before she stopped. She's taller than me, so that must mean she's 5'3" now. So much for that rule! Remember, 5'3" for a female in my family = giant. Haha! But I'm sure TG will shortly overtake Ariana. She's got the genetic code to be significantly taller than Ariana, so I figure it'll happen eventually!
Geez, I hated that class. I remember one of the symptoms of adulthood they told us about was when girls sat in front of the mirror and got upset because they realized they would never be beautiful.
Innana
Kira: Hey, she'll be as tall as she's supposed to be, right? I just wish people didn't assume that tall = teenaged or older. People ask TG about babysitting and she's not out of elementary school. Of course, I was babysitting at that age, but deceptively, with people thinking I was 13 when I was 10.
Innana: Yup, the stuff of our youth was bizarre. Of course, sex ed in the US doesn't hold a candle to sex ed in France. TG and I talked vocabulary and in going over the anatomy of reproduction and desire, they touched on ovaries, fallopian tubes, vagina, penis, testes, uterus, etc. Clitoris? Not so much. Really, not so much for the girls, but for the boys. They need to learn what it is, and that it's darn important. Vive la France.
Clitoris? What is this Clitoris you speak of?
Guess it'll be a long time before Cookie gets another date!
Yes, believe it or not, Alex was shocked that boys were NOT taught where a clitoris was and what its function was in school, as he was. I told him, yeah, that's why I married a French guy and not an American...haha!
Cookie: Stop trying to wind me up. Or, alternatively, check a book on the subject out of the library.
Anon: C'mon. You don't find that out till after the first date anyway, and most guys are oblivious, and still get dates. Truly.
Kira: Yup, it's outrageous. I'm not as concerned for the girls not learning about the clitoris (with any sense of touch at all, they'll figure it out sooner or later), but guys? They need a diagram and a map.
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