The "Arrangement"

SiQ and I had a pleasant date yesterday, but it ended with me thinking that this just wasn't going to fit into my life. SiQ seems pleasant enough, and he has the great good virtue of liking me and being attracted to me, but something's not there. It's not attraction -- he's attractive enough and all that. And it's not good manners, or general niceness. He has both those in abundance.

What I'm trying to describe is his assumption that I want what he wants. And that after knowing him for all of two months, without meeting friends, family, or a community around him -- we're essentially dating in a vacuum containing the two of us -- that I should feel comfortable just taking his word.

Perhaps I'm too cynical, but unless I see howa man reacts with others, and see how they treat long-term friends (and HAVE long-term friends), I assume what I'm seeing is his behavior on an ice floe. It really means very little. Of course he's nice to me right now. He wants to have sex with me. Any man who can't manage to be pleasant to a woman he hopes to boink in the near future really has No self-control. So that's not a real high standard to meet.

So SiQ was showering me with compliments, etc. and proceeding, yesterday, as though there was a specific goal at the end of the afternoon. Which I wasn't opposed to, but . . . I wasn't there yet.
After lunch, he suggests that I invite him home to my place. I said, no, I'm just not ready, and suggested that my next free weekend, we do a lengthy bike ride down near his home and then he make dinner for me (that's pretty obvious, I thought).

So then he explains to me that due to the financial meltdown, he and his ex haven't been able to sell their house, which they still share, so he can't have people over for dinner (he is, indeed divorced -- the court papers are part of the public record, searchable on the Internet).

Then lots of ludicrous or possibly plausible claims came forth: he really is single, but the house is under water. It would just be awkward for him to have women (he really was idiot enough to use the plural of that word in that sentence) at his house; it would make his ex uncomfortable.

Yeah, right. We had one of those wonderful (read: awful) conversations about honesty, monogamy, etc. He again suggested that I invite him to my place.

And here's the thoroughly annoying kicker: rather that be my own intimidating self, and say "Nope and never." I said "I just don't feel comfortable with that right now." Color me spineless. We talked a bit more, and he made statements such as "I really do care about you." and "I would never do anything to hurt you." I want points for not bursting out laughing at the latter statement. Of course he'll never do anything to hurt me. Best of all "We'll get through this." No, best of all, and really bizarre "You know we were meant to meet." Huh?

This morning he sent an email telling me he was looking forward to our new arrangement. I read it in a bit of confusion, trying to figure out what arrangement I had with him. I'm still ignorant.

Generally, I'm amused, my cynicism confirmed, and only slightly sad that I've lost a good hiking and biking companion (I really did enjoy hiking and biking with the SiQ, actually now ex-SiQ). And if he didn't seem so darn delusional about where I stand, I'd continue to plan hikes and bikes with him, but sadly, I fear, those days are over.

If anyone can explain to me what arrangement SiQ thinks he has with me, please do let me know.