October 28, 2010

Out of Synch

DG has turned six. TG is eleven. I'm almost fifty. Despite the alleged horde of women giving birth in their late thirties and early forties, I'm the oldest mother of a kindergartner I know. I go to the PTA meetings, look at the young men and women with peach fuzz on their faces, and think: they're too darn young.

I have one couple my age who I hang out with on occasion, and their children are all through college. The mother of DG's best friend, who considers herself to be too old for leggings (I didn't know they came with an age limit, and this woman hasn't hit it yet) without a mid-thigh tunic over them, was born the year I graduated from high school (1979). We're friends, but our lives diverge.

The guys I've dated (no-one since Sicko, this last spring, but I'm drawing on five years of experience) are generally my age or older, although some have not been. They all seem to have kids who are grown or no kids at all. Most men in their late forties and early fifties are not parents of elementary school age children.

My two best friends here (and my best friend in Europe, Francesca), Innana and SNV have no children. At my knitting group (yeah, yeah), there are grandmothers and hip young singles. There's one other mother with kids: a home schooler of about my age with FIVE children.

People are drawn to one another by shared experiences, and I do have plenty of people in my life -- wonderful neighbors, great friends, a good life, but I really feel out of pace with everyone. Most of my high school classmates are seeing their children into and through college. The other parents I know are children to me. Not really, I see them as adults, but the seem so darn young.

This isn't complaining -- nothing wrong, just not quite in synch with the rest of the world.

5 comments:

wunelle said...

I think I get a bit of this. I find myself having lived in Appleton for 12 years now, and I basically don't know anyone. I know people, but if my wife is busy I just hang around the house by myself.

I tell myself it's because everyone my age has kids, and that makes for a gulf I don't know how to bridge.

I don't particularly trust my judgment on this, and life is good enough that I don't really feel motivated to fix what isn't a problem in practice. But still...

Valentina Miranda said...

I feel out of sync most of the time as well. I'm 28, no degree, no husband, no children(intend to get the first two), working crappy jobs with 19 year-olds.

I guess it'll only get more and more out of sync, but I guess we should just conform to be in sync with ourselves (uuuuuhhhh, how deep!).

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Keep Life Simple said...

Valentina,

i suggest you focus all effort on a degree. any reason for not getting one? my wife worked at La Quinta hotel next to Texas A&M. Set at the front desk all night and studied with few or no interruptions...

q

Keep Life Simple said...

wunelle,

i have no advice for bridging said gap. being 55 with kids in high school i can tell you that all of our friends were people that kids the same age as our kids - not coincidence...

q