DG has turned six. TG is eleven. I'm almost fifty. Despite the alleged horde of women giving birth in their late thirties and early forties, I'm the oldest mother of a kindergartner I know. I go to the PTA meetings, look at the young men and women with peach fuzz on their faces, and think: they're too darn young.
I have one couple my age who I hang out with on occasion, and their children are all through college. The mother of DG's best friend, who considers herself to be too old for leggings (I didn't know they came with an age limit, and this woman hasn't hit it yet) without a mid-thigh tunic over them, was born the year I graduated from high school (1979). We're friends, but our lives diverge.
The guys I've dated (no-one since Sicko, this last spring, but I'm drawing on five years of experience) are generally my age or older, although some have not been. They all seem to have kids who are grown or no kids at all. Most men in their late forties and early fifties are not parents of elementary school age children.
My two best friends here (and my best friend in Europe, Francesca), Innana and SNV have no children. At my knitting group (yeah, yeah), there are grandmothers and hip young singles. There's one other mother with kids: a home schooler of about my age with FIVE children.
People are drawn to one another by shared experiences, and I do have plenty of people in my life -- wonderful neighbors, great friends, a good life, but I really feel out of pace with everyone. Most of my high school classmates are seeing their children into and through college. The other parents I know are children to me. Not really, I see them as adults, but the seem so darn young.
This isn't complaining -- nothing wrong, just not quite in synch with the rest of the world.
October 28, 2010
October 9, 2010
Firewood
I love the crispness in the air when I get up in the morning in fall. Especially after the soggy, sticky, moist, limp dishragness of summer. And in my current place, I have a fireplace that works, and this morning, before work (yeah, I'm working today) I'm bopping over to friends to assist them in clearing away the wood from a tree that they had to take down last year. Firewood. Yes, I'm incredibly helpful. What a giving person. Amazing how this works in my favor. And their backyard gets cleaned out.
Also, the girls love fires in the fireplace and toasting marshmallows. All good.
Also, the girls love fires in the fireplace and toasting marshmallows. All good.
October 7, 2010
Happy and Boring
No new disaster dating scenarios: I'm done with dating for a while. I don't have the time or energy. Most guys seem to require a fair amount of effort and I just don't have that to give.
No new health crises. It looks like I'll get through 2010 without requiring surgery, joints being reassembled, or other health interventions. TG has braces and is getting more, but that's about it. I'm donating platelets again, which feels really good. Not the actual donation -- that's a bit uncomfortable -- but the feeling of contributing. And I know that in some way, I'm actually helping others, which is not something I get to do a lot right now. Everything is pretty inward-focusing on my daughters and me.
Still teaching Sunday school and enjoying it, much to my amazement. And agnostic/almost atheist me is still enjoying church. Of course, there are many other atheists and agnostics in my church, and no one seems bothered by the fact that I teach all the Bible stories as literature and myth and add commentary like this regarding the Abraham/Isaac story: "You think this is the action of a loving god? A god who asks its subjects to prepare to sacrifice children? Yeah, didn't carry through, but the whole scenario reeks of sadism to me. Can anyone define an abusive relationship using Bible or Twilight characters?"*
TG started middle school and DG started kindergarten. My memories of middle school are of unrelenting hell, so it's with great pleasure that I observe TG continuing to love school, be surrounded by friends, and generally love life, with some sports and some academic activities (Mathletes!) that she enjoys. DG views kindergarten as her own personal triumphal march, clearly designed to give her pleasure. Someone has told her she's a good artist (she is) and she shows me her work, explaining "This is a very talented flower" (it is).
And DG can ride a bike without training wheels, so we all can bike together on the many bike paths in this area. Yee-haw!
Last night, two neighbors invited me over to dinner, and I realized that I've never known and liked so many of my neighbors, or their dogs. I know all the dogs in the area, from the pit-bull/lab/St. Bernard mix in my old apartment (with the young dudes) named Flower who is such a wuss that when it rains the dude downstairs lifts his 180 pound tender Flower up over the big puddle that forms on our building's stoop because Flower doesn't like to get her paws wet in big puddles to the ferocious King Charles Cavalier spaniel named Thor who tries to intimidate Flower, but is cuddly with DG and TG. And yes, I know the dog's names, but not those of the cute young dudes who walk them. Plus a Boxer puppy, a Boston Terrier, and several Bichon Frisees who leap with pleasure and delight when they see kids to play with.
So again, my life is boring to write about now, but truly pleasurable. Oh, and I'm knitting a 1930s glam-dress pattern that will probably keep me busy for the next year or two with size 0 needles.
Nothing to see here. Move it along.
*Actually, I'm exaggerating there, but only slightly.
No new health crises. It looks like I'll get through 2010 without requiring surgery, joints being reassembled, or other health interventions. TG has braces and is getting more, but that's about it. I'm donating platelets again, which feels really good. Not the actual donation -- that's a bit uncomfortable -- but the feeling of contributing. And I know that in some way, I'm actually helping others, which is not something I get to do a lot right now. Everything is pretty inward-focusing on my daughters and me.
Still teaching Sunday school and enjoying it, much to my amazement. And agnostic/almost atheist me is still enjoying church. Of course, there are many other atheists and agnostics in my church, and no one seems bothered by the fact that I teach all the Bible stories as literature and myth and add commentary like this regarding the Abraham/Isaac story: "You think this is the action of a loving god? A god who asks its subjects to prepare to sacrifice children? Yeah, didn't carry through, but the whole scenario reeks of sadism to me. Can anyone define an abusive relationship using Bible or Twilight characters?"*
TG started middle school and DG started kindergarten. My memories of middle school are of unrelenting hell, so it's with great pleasure that I observe TG continuing to love school, be surrounded by friends, and generally love life, with some sports and some academic activities (Mathletes!) that she enjoys. DG views kindergarten as her own personal triumphal march, clearly designed to give her pleasure. Someone has told her she's a good artist (she is) and she shows me her work, explaining "This is a very talented flower" (it is).
And DG can ride a bike without training wheels, so we all can bike together on the many bike paths in this area. Yee-haw!
Last night, two neighbors invited me over to dinner, and I realized that I've never known and liked so many of my neighbors, or their dogs. I know all the dogs in the area, from the pit-bull/lab/St. Bernard mix in my old apartment (with the young dudes) named Flower who is such a wuss that when it rains the dude downstairs lifts his 180 pound tender Flower up over the big puddle that forms on our building's stoop because Flower doesn't like to get her paws wet in big puddles to the ferocious King Charles Cavalier spaniel named Thor who tries to intimidate Flower, but is cuddly with DG and TG. And yes, I know the dog's names, but not those of the cute young dudes who walk them. Plus a Boxer puppy, a Boston Terrier, and several Bichon Frisees who leap with pleasure and delight when they see kids to play with.
So again, my life is boring to write about now, but truly pleasurable. Oh, and I'm knitting a 1930s glam-dress pattern that will probably keep me busy for the next year or two with size 0 needles.
Nothing to see here. Move it along.
*Actually, I'm exaggerating there, but only slightly.
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